1 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,382 Look at that speed. 2 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:09,717 Damien. 3 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,178 He's clocking at 9 miles per hour. 4 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:14,514 Ooh! Let's get his info. 5 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,432 Paris team is looking good. 6 00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,184 They were the laughingstock of the Hospitality Olympics 7 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,603 last year, but they've really turned things around. 8 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,396 They've got a strong anchor. 9 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:23,731 Mm. 10 00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:26,275 She's quick, but I worry about precision. 11 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,903 We're only staffing the best of the best at the Diva. 12 00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:31,155 Ooh, is that what you're calling the casino? 13 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:32,657 Mm-hmm. 14 00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,951 The Diva. I like that. 15 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,161 Diva. 16 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,289 Ooh! Look at that little one. 17 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,459 He lets the suck of the vacuum pull him. 18 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,753 He'll be less prone to injury. 19 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,589 Smart. 20 00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:53,511 Okay. Done. 21 00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:56,097 - I like his passion. - No. Can't do it. 22 00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:58,516 - Horrible at trivia. - Call it. Call it, ref. 23 00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:00,434 Yes! Who do you think you are? 24 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:01,435 I am. 25 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,771 I am Ray, motherfuckers! 26 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:06,190 Pretty good. 27 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,775 Come on, let's go. It needs to be perfect. 28 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,360 Work for this. Work for this. 29 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:12,029 This is where a hotel succeeds or fails-- 30 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,197 a well-made bed. 31 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,657 That's almost all there is. 32 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,867 Look at him in the vest. 33 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,911 I like the way he handles the top sheet. 34 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,663 Go, Sophie! Go! Go! 35 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:21,789 I did not wanna bring you tonight. 36 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:22,790 Prove me wrong! 37 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,625 He's a surgeon. 38 00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:28,337 Quick but measured, efficient but not careless. 39 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:29,338 Fold that top! 40 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,048 Hospital corners! 41 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,675 We went over this, Sophie! 42 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,010 Jesus Christ! 43 00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,053 Check, check. 44 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,224 Whoo! Yes! 45 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,857 I am the best bedmaker in the world! 46 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,695 Okay, girl, I see you. 47 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,323 - I'm buzzed, buzzed. - Moment of truth. 48 00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:56,450 Buzzed, buzzed. 49 00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,994 - Good girl! - See? I'm on your side, girl. 50 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,370 Oh. 51 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,164 You know what I miss? Go Fish. 52 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,790 Mom! Mom! 53 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:05,791 Hi, guys. 54 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,168 Mom, I need you. 55 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:09,629 Oh, no, honey. Is Aidan leaving you? 56 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,213 This is what men do. 57 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,840 They leave. 58 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,383 Okay, you gotta make sure that all the vehicles 59 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,593 - are in your name. - No. 60 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:16,677 - Are they? - No, no, no, no. 61 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,346 - Are they? - Mom! 62 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:21,641 They're finally doing "Celebrity Amazing Race"! 63 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,476 - Oh. - Remember? 64 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:24,727 You said that you would go on it with me 65 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,937 - if they ever made it? - Oh. 66 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,147 Oh, yeah. 67 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,398 No, DJ, you know that I'm gagged. 68 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:30,483 I can't do any TV. 69 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,193 No performing for months. 70 00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,903 Nice try. I called your lawyer. 71 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,529 - You called Stewart? - Well, that's what you get 72 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,323 for suing me for criminal negligence 73 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,200 for breaking Grandma's teapot, okay? 74 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,369 Stewart and I have developed a lovely working relationship, 75 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,245 and he says you're in the clear, 76 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:46,332 as long as this season airs after the non-compete expires. 77 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,709 - And it does! So suck it! - No. 78 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,544 You are not allowed to do a reality show. 79 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,129 That has always been our rule. 80 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,757 Mom, this is really important to me, okay? 81 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:57,134 You know it's important to me. 82 00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:59,220 "Amazing Race" got me sober. 83 00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:03,182 Excuse me, I think $400,000 worth of rehab got you sober. 84 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,975 Nope, that failed. 85 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,686 Episodes of "The Amazing Race" got me through 86 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,270 some really dark times, okay? 87 00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:09,855 Phil Keoghan is my higher power. 88 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,440 And you promised me that if I got sober, 89 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,317 we would go on it together. 90 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:14,944 Okay. Okay. 91 00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:16,570 You're right. I'll think about it. 92 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:17,947 Yeah, think about it. 93 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,365 But I need an answer by 5:00, okay? 94 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,367 Plus, if we win, we get a million dollars, 95 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,160 which covers my allowance for the year. 96 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:26,288 Well, honey, I think all that money goes to charity. 97 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,290 Oh, fuck! Really? Ugh. 98 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,000 That's so stupid. You know what? 99 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,919 I'm sure there's a workaround. I still wanna do it. 100 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:35,297 I'm gonna go practice driving on the wrong side of the road. 101 00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:36,799 - Christ. - Yeah. 102 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,426 Look, I don't think it's the worst thing 103 00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:40,094 in the world for you to go on a reality show. 104 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,804 I mean, there'll be a big announcement revealing 105 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,055 the cast, and you can get them to plug 106 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,473 MSG in the press release. 107 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,183 You know, she's right. 108 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,686 Reality shows do give celebrities fresh relevance. 109 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,688 That's true. 110 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,398 But the problem with reality shows is, 111 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,150 you cannot control the narrative. 112 00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:56,235 I mean, that's why I've turned down Andy Cohen 113 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,820 more than every twink on Fire Island. 114 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,739 And they can make you look however they want. 115 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,866 I mean, don't worry about me, but I mean, they could really 116 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,743 make DJ look like a fool. 117 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,995 I mean, she doesn't seem too worried to me. 118 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,204 Yeah. 119 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,914 And having her as my teammate, 120 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:11,375 we'd probably be out in the first leg. 121 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,127 I could be home in a week. 122 00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:15,379 You do need to sell tickets. 123 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,883 Well, I guess it looks like I'm doing "The Amazing Race." 124 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,384 Whoo! 125 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,052 Girl, I cannot wait to watch your ass. 126 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,847 Gonna be great. 127 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:32,563 Oh, that's bad too. 128 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,857 Food waste is so depressing. 129 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:37,193 You know this is the fourth blackout we've had this year? 130 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,069 It's the sixth. 131 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,447 Two happened during separate 12-hour naps you were taking. 132 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,449 Not sleeps, naps. 133 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,451 And you slept those nights too. 134 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,119 That's even worse. 135 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,038 Thank God I'm such a good napper or I'd be even more 136 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,956 stressed out about the climate crisis. 137 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,792 And don't monitor my sleep. 138 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:53,834 It's private. 139 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,378 But it's fascinating. 140 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,426 - Jimbo! What's up? - Hey. 141 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,178 So I just finished lunch with Jessica Duncan, 142 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:05,721 and I have great news. 143 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,306 She loves the "Who's Making Dinner" idea. 144 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,475 - She wants to hear it. - Are you serious? 145 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,560 Yeah, she flipped out. 146 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,062 - Are you peeing? - What? 147 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,271 Call me back if you're peeing. 148 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,856 I can talk to you in a second. 149 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,566 No, I'm making coffee, although I have peed 150 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:18,776 while we were on the phone before. 151 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,611 Okay. 152 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,154 Anyway, I wanna get you and Deborah in a room with her. 153 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,489 Is Deborah excited? 154 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:24,573 Because this could be really big. 155 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,826 Um, I have not yet-- 156 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,410 I haven't talked to Deborah yet. 157 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,204 Well, you need to ASAP. 158 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:34,333 Also, I do need to flag one issue with the rights. 159 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,044 Apparently, when Frank died, he left them to Kathy. 160 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,754 Please tell me you mean Najimy. 161 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,339 Why would I mean Kathy Najimy? 162 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,550 No, Kathy, her sister, the one who hates her. 163 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:43,968 I even tried to grease the wheels. 164 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:45,719 I gave her a call today, but she wanted 165 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,137 to get off the phone because she said I was, quote, 166 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,056 "an enabler of her abuser." - Whew. 167 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,558 Which I think is unfair, but you know what? 168 00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,184 We all have our narratives, so whatever. 169 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,269 Whatever to her. 170 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,436 She's a fucking bitch. 171 00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,564 Okay, well, uh, I'll-- 172 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,065 I'll talk to Deborah. 173 00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,608 Let me know what our girl says. 174 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:00,860 And if she is not happy, don't tell me. 175 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,529 Just internalize it. 176 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,616 I think you're packing too much stuff. 177 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,035 Do you really have room for six rolls of toilet paper? 178 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,579 Oh, you can't just downgrade 179 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:13,289 your toilet tissue out of nowhere. 180 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,623 I haven't had time to build up any kind of a tolerance. 181 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:16,250 It's a shock to the system. 182 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,710 I mean, you can go to the hospital. 183 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:18,836 Totally. 184 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:21,297 Um, hey, while I have you... 185 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,424 so you know how I have that blind script deal? 186 00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:25,342 Mm-hmm. 187 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,762 Well, I figured out what I wanna do. 188 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,974 I wanna reboot "Who's Making Dinner?" 189 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,642 - Oh. - Um, yeah. 190 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,269 It would take place in the same house, 191 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,438 but instead of a young couple, it would follow 192 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,315 some Gen Z friends who have to all 193 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,691 live together to afford it. 194 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,318 I could pitch it, and then you could just, 195 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:43,861 like, totally rewrite it if you wanted to. 196 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,362 Like, just whichever version works for you, 197 00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:46,864 I feel like, yeah, down with. 198 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:49,658 But I just wanted to run it by you, because-- 199 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,452 I--I really don't wanna do a reboot 200 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,704 of "Who's Making Dinner?" 201 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,164 Okay. 202 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,874 But you should. 203 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,584 No, no. 204 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,794 No, no, I--I wouldn't wanna do it without you. 205 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:04,173 No, no, no, I'm moving forward with the Garden, 206 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,634 but I give you my blessing. 207 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,427 Are you sure? 208 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,888 I mean, I know it's, like, triggering for you 209 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:13,891 when people rewrite your story. 210 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,728 Well, I would trust you to do it. 211 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,689 Thanks. 212 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:21,732 I won't let you down. 213 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,901 I know. 214 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,945 But you know, I don't have the rights. 215 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,197 So I can't help you with that. 216 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,200 Well, maybe you can. 217 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,922 Look at that headshot. 218 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:47,216 It's at least 20 years old. 219 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:50,803 We have two offers already, and two others are writing. 220 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,972 So if you're interested, I suggest 221 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,308 - you come in aggressively. - Okay, great, thanks. 222 00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,770 What the hell are you doing here? 223 00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,397 Nice bones, Kathy. 224 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,107 Not you, the house. 225 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,650 How did you find me? 226 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,610 Do you still have that PI following me? 227 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,863 PI? What PI? 228 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,949 He died. 229 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,409 Is there somewhere we can sit? 230 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,620 If we must. 231 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,457 I was surprised you weren't at the christening. 232 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:23,127 - What? - We--we both were. 233 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:24,920 I'm AJ's godmother. 234 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,922 I am AJ's godmother. 235 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,132 Oh, God. 236 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,633 DJ must have had two christenings. 237 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,594 You wanna alternate months? 238 00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,180 So, listen-- 239 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,890 I know why you're here. 240 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:40,394 I talked to Jimmy against the advice of my healer. 241 00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:43,063 Deborah, you are not getting the rights to that show. 242 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,606 The thing is, they're not-- they're not for Deborah. 243 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,567 - They're for me. - Ha, sure. 244 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:47,985 No, really, they are. 245 00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,069 What are you going to do with them? 246 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,154 Nothing. 247 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,488 Well, you don't know that. 248 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:52,573 I journal. 249 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:53,699 So what's your price? 250 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,075 You obviously need the money. 251 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,493 I don't remember you having a passion 252 00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:58,120 for selling real estate. 253 00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,830 You weren't even good at playing house. 254 00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,749 Well, you always made me be the maid. 255 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,292 Well, you were a natural. 256 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,669 I'm surprised you could remember anything at all. 257 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:09,423 I read that you had a psychotic break live on air. 258 00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:11,717 No surprise there. Hope you're getting help. 259 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,011 Just like you got help in the '90s with Prozac? 260 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:15,846 How did you-- 261 00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:17,473 I had DJ go through your trash like a good little girl. 262 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:20,225 Okay, my sisters, let's turn the volume down. 263 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:25,606 Kathy, is there anything we could do to change your mind? 264 00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:30,486 Well, there is one thing. 265 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,988 - No. No. Let's go. - What? 266 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,740 When we were little, our mother had these 267 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,159 - salt and pepper shakers. - Do not waste your breath! 268 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,454 They were cherubic, porcelain little blonde girls. 269 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,247 She used to say they looked exactly like us. 270 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,083 We loved them. 271 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,502 That's why we started shaker collections of our own. 272 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:49,088 Then when Mom passed, Deborah stole them from me. 273 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,672 I never stole them! 274 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:52,758 Mom said she always wanted me to have them. 275 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,885 I'll give you the rights if you give me back the shakers. 276 00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,553 Which is never gonna happen. See? 277 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:59,223 She's deliberately crushing your dreams. 278 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,475 It's sadistic, really. This woman is sick. 279 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:06,106 This woman is sick! 280 00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,900 - Let's leave. - Sorry. 281 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:12,403 Don't even think about coming back without those shakers! 282 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:15,864 Oh. 283 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,449 Window's cracked. Candles are lit. 284 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,869 There's mold. Run. Run. 285 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,040 Hello. 286 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,252 I'm sorry. 287 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,253 I would pay anything. 288 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:30,754 I just can't-- 289 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,256 - I can't do that. - I get it. 290 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,590 I get it. That's okay. 291 00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,634 Thank you for trying. 292 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,567 "Amazing Race" contestants, take your places, please. 293 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,070 Oh, my God, this is the best day of my life. 294 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,780 Thank you so much for doing this. 295 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,157 Well, you're welcome, sweetie. 296 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,658 But just remember our deal, okay? 297 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,034 - You're representing the family. - Yeah. 298 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,536 - So when on camera... - Mm-hmm. 299 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:03,871 - No swearing. - Right. 300 00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:05,581 - No unladylike behavior. - Mm-hmm. 301 00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:07,291 No talking back. 302 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,668 Okay, I mean, when in doubt, ask yourself, WWMD? 303 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,629 - What Would Mommy Do? I know! - Yes, What Would Mommy Do? 304 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:13,922 - I understand. - Don't talk back. 305 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,049 I didn't. I talked with. 306 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,301 - We said the same thing. - Okay. 307 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,344 - Hey, everyone! - Yes, Phil! 308 00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:22,723 I would officially like to welcome you all 309 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,100 to "The Amazing Race." 310 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:30,689 Now, since this is our first celebrity race, 311 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,399 why don't we just talk a little bit 312 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,234 about why you are taking part. 313 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:37,362 Drew and Jonathan, what inspired you to be here today? 314 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:41,491 Well, we love to compete, so not if, but when we win-- 315 00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:43,368 - Very confident. - Yeah. 316 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,703 - Yeah. - Okay. 317 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:45,954 We're gonna be donating our prize money 318 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,623 to the Alzheimer's Association. 319 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,166 We have a family member who died from Alzheimer's. 320 00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:51,543 So we're going on this journey for the patients 321 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,463 and doctors who are running the much harder race, 322 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,048 - the one for a cure. - Okay. 323 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,716 That's a great cause. Great cause. 324 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,885 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 325 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,803 Now, JR and Richard. 326 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:04,473 We are playing for the United Negro College Fund, 327 00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:07,059 who also support HBCUs throughout the country. 328 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,061 Yeah, and the million dollars that we are going to win... 329 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,562 - Absolutely. - Correct. 330 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,648 That's just a fraction of the $26 million 331 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,775 that the United Negro College Fund donates 332 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,151 every single year to scholarships. 333 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,779 Awesome. Another great cause. 334 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,075 Now, what about you, Deborah and DJ Vance? 335 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,702 I'm here to promote my comeback show 336 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:30,123 at Madison Square Garden, September 11th. 337 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,251 Okay. 338 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,961 How about we get this race started, everybody? 339 00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:36,213 Yeah! 340 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:39,383 Are you ready for your life-changing adventure? 341 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,051 - Yes, we are. - Let's do it! 342 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,552 - Let's go. - Good luck. 343 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:44,721 Travel safe. 344 00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,266 Go! 345 00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:51,812 - Go, go, go, go! - Come on! 346 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,439 Oh, this is gonna be interesting. 347 00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,402 Go, go, go, go! 348 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:01,281 Grab it, grab it, grab it! 349 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,452 Okay, drive yourselves to LAX and fly to Oaxaca, Mexico. 350 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,579 When you land, make your way to Campo, Los Molinos. 351 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,415 You have $50 for this leg of the race. 352 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,417 - All right. Bag, bag, bag! - Okay, okay. 353 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,085 I'm sweating. I already stink. 354 00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:16,878 Oh, no, no, no, no, honey, we have talked about 355 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,338 a razorback cut on your shoulders! 356 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:21,092 Stop it! Get in the car! 357 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,851 They'll be expecting us. Get to-- 358 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:31,894 - Right there! - Right there, yeah. 359 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,356 Your next flight to Oaxaca, Mexico, please. 360 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,733 Hola. 361 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,109 We want the same flight they're getting! 362 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:40,527 Yes, please, please. Hi, Deborah. 363 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:41,695 I'm like--I'm-- I love you so much. 364 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:43,447 - I have to say... - Aw, thank you. 365 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,198 I went as you for Halloween all of middle school. 366 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,825 Got the fucking shit kicked out of me. 367 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,160 Worth it! 368 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,703 No, I'm obsessed with you. 369 00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:52,873 Jordan just told me you do comedy too. 370 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,249 He had to tell you that? 371 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,168 Well, now that I know, I'm obsessed. 372 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,919 We should totally work together, 373 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,088 the blonde comedy girls. 374 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,798 - You're a comedian? - Yeah! 375 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,216 Well, I can also talk really, really, really fast. 376 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:04,551 And what else? Oh! 377 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,303 I can do ASMR. 378 00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,721 Do you feel that? 379 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,222 Do you feel it on the back of your neck? 380 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,849 She's major. She's generational talent. 381 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,726 And this is online comedy? 382 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:14,936 Well, I've also done Broadway and the Hollywood Bowl. 383 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,522 Yeah, she sold out in like, under two seconds. 384 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,232 Yeah, it was super fun. 385 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,984 So should we make this official? 386 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:24,488 - Alliance, allianciana? - Allianciana! 387 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:27,240 We could call ourselves the Funny Honeys. 388 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:28,658 I don't--I don't-- 389 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,285 I don't think so, thanks. 390 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,371 Wait, no, Mom. Mom, no, no. 391 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,997 Alliances are a huge part of the race. 392 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,707 Yeah. Okay, so listen. 393 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,459 What if there's a puzzle and we can't figure it out? 394 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,211 Don't you want them to give us a hint on their way out? 395 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,129 That happens literally all the time. 396 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,339 Absolutely not. 397 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,757 She says we're both comedians. 398 00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:44,966 How dare she compare herself to me? 399 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,593 Oh, God. 400 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,928 They will get last and we will win this race. 401 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,430 Come on. Let's go. 402 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,853 Get out of my way! 403 00:14:56,854 --> 00:15:00,232 Don't be afraid to shove! Don't be afraid to shove! 404 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,276 Move it, move it, move it, move it! 405 00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,861 Okay, miss, this is not YouTube. 406 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:06,781 Okay, I got it. I got it. We gotta go. I got it. 407 00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,118 No, no, no! Deborah! 408 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,911 - Deborah! - Get out of it. 409 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,287 - Get in the goddamn cab! - You're gonna steal the car? 410 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,497 You know what? Hang on. 411 00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:16,706 - I'm sorry. - I get it. 412 00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:17,999 It's good TV. It's good TV. 413 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,126 What can I say? 414 00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:20,502 We need to go there. 415 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,003 Are you paying "atten-see-on?" 416 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,755 This is very important. 417 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,508 We are in a race for 1 million "doleros." 418 00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:28,260 Rapido! Rapido! 419 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,346 Let's go! 420 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,320 Oh, damn it. 421 00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:49,698 I was hoping they'd be stranded and abducted. 422 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,992 Where are the kidnappers from Sinaloa drug cartel 423 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,827 - when you need them? - Ooh, it's a Roadblock. 424 00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,412 That means only one of us can complete the challenge. 425 00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:57,706 Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay. 426 00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,082 Who's the big cheese? 427 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,834 Oh, this one's addressed to me. 428 00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:02,335 Mom, every single contestant is a celebrity, okay? 429 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:03,587 I can't open it! 430 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:05,130 What's wrong with your finger? 431 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,716 Okay, yeah! 432 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,801 I understood every word of that. 433 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,803 Transport a wheel of cheese down the hill 434 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,847 using a traditional antique cheese rack. 435 00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:15,724 Once there, you will receive your next clue. 436 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,642 - Ha, okay. - Okay, all right. 437 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,561 Okay, now this sounds complex. I think I should do this one. 438 00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,021 - No. No, no, no, no, no, no. - You're not that coordinated. 439 00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,355 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. 440 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:23,690 Hopefully we can complete this quick 441 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,108 and catch up to the other teams. 442 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,401 Wait, honey, honey, your flyaways. 443 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:27,402 - Stop! - Okay, all right. 444 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,654 Can she take that again? 445 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,839 What are you doing? Are you tying it? 446 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,883 Just tie the cheese. 447 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,470 Trish. 448 00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:55,055 That's it, DJ! 449 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,974 I wanted to say before, um, 450 00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,018 I know you got canceled, smear campaigned and everything. 451 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,103 I just wanted to say, like, from cancel queen 452 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:05,607 to cancel queen, like, it hurts the soul, helps the wallet. 453 00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:06,900 So if I could give you any advice, 454 00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,235 you know--who am I to say? 455 00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:11,655 I'm, you know, 19. 456 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,365 Okay, baby! 457 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,243 You got this! 458 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,914 That's it, girl. Come on, honey. 459 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,290 No, no. 460 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:24,834 Plan every footstep but don't hunch. 461 00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,378 You're on camera. 462 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,630 Steady, steady. 463 00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:31,300 Trisha, where are you? 464 00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,845 Oh, there she is. You got this, Trish. 465 00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,140 Okay, okay. 466 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,351 Oh, my God! 467 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,687 Oh, she's rolling. 468 00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,314 Oops. 469 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,657 - Shit, shit, shit! - Oh, my God! 470 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,826 Oh, my ankle! 471 00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,035 Honey, stop whimpering. Stop whimpering. 472 00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,370 It shows weakness. 473 00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:02,831 All right. Sweetie, one more thing. 474 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,749 You're gonna have to get back up and grab the cheese 475 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,751 and finish the challenge, okay? 476 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,546 Fuck! 477 00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:12,216 She's good. 478 00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:53,923 - Ava. - Ooh! Oh, hey. 479 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:56,176 - What are you doing? - Me? Just me? 480 00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:58,136 - Yeah. - Oh, nothing. 481 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,055 Or I just came down to get a midnight snack, 482 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,681 but then by the time I got here, 483 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,224 I was not hungry anymore 'cause the house is so big 484 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,601 and it took me so long to get down here. 485 00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:05,602 - Totally. - What's up with you? 486 00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:06,895 What are you doing up? 487 00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:08,813 - Just walking the dogs. - Okay. 488 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,690 At this hour? That's curious. 489 00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,817 Well, when Deborah's out of town, they get super anxious 490 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:17,405 and just like, shit everywhere. 491 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,199 Sorry. I'm so tired. 492 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,076 Oh. 493 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,827 I gotta go to bed. 494 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,705 But yeah, it was good to see you. 495 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,082 - Good night. - I'm gonna go. 496 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,583 This is me. I'm headed this way. 497 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:29,834 - My room over here. - I know. Good night. 498 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:30,919 Okay, good night. 499 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,796 Good night, Damien. 500 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:34,215 Okay. 501 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,594 Now I kind of want a snack. 502 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,399 Ah! Ah. 503 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,652 - My God, honey, be careful. - Okay. 504 00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:57,153 This--that's the last clue. 505 00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:58,697 - That means we're the last team. - No! 506 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,490 Oh, I have to beat that idiot woman. 507 00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:02,450 We can still make up time. Okay? We can make up time. 508 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:04,994 Because in this race, the game's not over 509 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,663 until you're standing on that mat 510 00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,289 and Phil says you're eliminated. 511 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,457 Right, it's another Roadblock. 512 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,501 "Who's got milk?" - Ooh. 513 00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,211 Okay now, sweetie, why don't you sit this one out? 514 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,754 - What? What? No! - Rest your ankle. 515 00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,381 But Mom, what if it's a food challenge? 516 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,799 We both know you are not gonna be caught dead 517 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,342 eating full-fat dairy on camera, 518 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:20,927 - so I will be doing it. - Well, that's true, 519 00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,137 but you didn't do so well in the last Roadblock. 520 00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:23,471 I--I--I did fine! 521 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,056 Mom, this is my dream, all right? 522 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,766 And I said I would be doing the Roadblock, 523 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,852 so the rules say that I have to do the Roadblock. 524 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,311 - Okay? - All right. 525 00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:31,479 - Milk a goat... - Milk a goat. 526 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,064 Until you have two quarts. 527 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,482 When you think you have completed this task, 528 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,025 present your milk to the goat farmer 529 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:38,194 - to receive your next clue. - No problem. 530 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,738 Okay, all right, this way. 531 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,448 To the right, to the right, to the right. 532 00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:42,741 Okay, there it is. There it is. 533 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:43,867 You got it. You got it. 534 00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:46,328 Just grab the goat. 535 00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,999 Jesus, she really is multi-talented. 536 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,917 Aren't these goats so cute? 537 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:55,003 Let me get like, six or seven when I get home. 538 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,213 I don't like them. They're demonic. 539 00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:58,923 Why are their eyes so far apart? 540 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,550 - I'm done. - Oh, we're done. 541 00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:01,801 Yay. 542 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,303 Okay, good to see you. 543 00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:06,514 Hey, hey, don't, don't. 544 00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:08,016 Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. 545 00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,934 You gotta go over there. 546 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:12,061 - Get your boobs easy for me. - DJ? 547 00:21:12,062 --> 00:21:13,646 DJ, why don't you watch the nice man do it 548 00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:15,023 for a minute before you try? 549 00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:16,775 I don't need to watch the man, okay? 550 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,485 Don't you remember when I had that past-life 551 00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:20,111 regression therapy and I found out I was a milkmaid 552 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,113 who was secretly a princess? I got this. 553 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,198 Sure. 554 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,657 You have to hold it. 555 00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:25,992 Okay, well, she's being a bitch. 556 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,660 That's not-- that's not my fault. 557 00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,370 Pinch the top of the teat, DJ, the top of the teat. 558 00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:30,997 Oh, Mom? Hey, Mom? 559 00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:32,791 If you could shut up for a second, that would help. 560 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:35,001 You're distracting me, okay? The top of the teat? 561 00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:36,461 What does that mean? Which end is the top? 562 00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:38,129 Just--just-- just watch the guy. 563 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,882 Watch the guy, and then do it the way he's doing it! 564 00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:42,592 Don't yell at me. Shut the fuck up. 565 00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:43,843 I don't need to watch the guy. 566 00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:44,969 Deborah, it's a Roadblock. 567 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,012 You cannot help your partner. 568 00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:48,139 I know, Elise! 569 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,432 Gotta relax into it. 570 00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:51,601 Oh. 571 00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:53,061 Huh? Huh? 572 00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:55,563 You gotta relax into that past life. 573 00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,274 Oh, my God. 574 00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:08,828 Egads. 575 00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:13,706 - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! - Calm down! 576 00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:16,209 It doesn't work, but I will hit you with it. 577 00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,670 And don't you dare touch anything in this shop, 578 00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,004 you harlot. 579 00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:21,548 I remember you. 580 00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,800 You threatened to smash a Limoges vase 581 00:22:23,801 --> 00:22:26,010 to strong-arm me into selling to Deborah Vance. 582 00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,262 I did. I did do that. 583 00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:29,055 I was in a desperate situation. 584 00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:32,100 And I am once again in a desperate situation, 585 00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:33,977 but I come in peace. 586 00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:36,855 I need your help, just some information. 587 00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:38,731 Ha! Go straight to hell. 588 00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:39,899 I'd never help you. 589 00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:42,987 Oh, that's too bad to hear. 590 00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:48,616 Seems like you've got a lot of inventory around here. 591 00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:51,202 And I did happen to notice some items on your website 592 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:54,956 are heavily discounted. 593 00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:57,166 Maybe times are tough? 594 00:22:57,167 --> 00:23:00,211 Your generation doesn't understand antiques, 595 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:01,838 but it'll come around. 596 00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:04,007 It's always cyclical. 597 00:23:04,008 --> 00:23:06,175 Well, if you wanna wait for that to happen, be my guest. 598 00:23:06,176 --> 00:23:09,262 But what if I told you that I could take half your inventory, 599 00:23:09,263 --> 00:23:11,180 right now, at market value? 600 00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:12,724 I wouldn't believe you. 601 00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:14,934 You're a lying piece of shit. 602 00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:16,311 That's wise. 603 00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:18,771 I can't, but I know someone who can. 604 00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:20,065 Marcus! 605 00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:25,904 Tim. 606 00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:28,948 Mr. Vaughan. You're looking fit. 607 00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:30,658 Thank you. 608 00:23:30,659 --> 00:23:33,077 I'm decorating and furnishing an entire new casino 609 00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:34,913 with all vintage pieces. 610 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:38,207 If you help my friend here, I'm sure we can make a deal. 611 00:23:38,208 --> 00:23:39,667 - What's the style? - Art deco. 612 00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:41,085 - Where? - The old Paradiso. 613 00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:43,046 Fabulous. 614 00:23:43,047 --> 00:23:47,760 I need someone who can make me an exact replica of these. 615 00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:54,307 Why would you ask an antiques dealer 616 00:23:54,308 --> 00:23:55,975 where you could get a fake? 617 00:23:55,976 --> 00:24:00,688 Well, I seem to remember a certain psychotic bitch 618 00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:03,858 telling me that you once fooled her 619 00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,610 with a counterfeit Georges Jouve sconce. 620 00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:06,778 I remember because she called it 621 00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:08,279 the worst betrayal of her life. 622 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,782 Mind you, her husband porked her sister. 623 00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:13,868 So I need to know who your forger is, 624 00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:15,496 because he's obviously very good. 625 00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:20,583 Well, lucky for you, 626 00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:23,252 you're looking at him. 627 00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:25,047 God, I love this town. 628 00:24:26,715 --> 00:24:28,341 Can I use your bathroom? 629 00:24:28,342 --> 00:24:30,385 No. 630 00:24:30,386 --> 00:24:31,886 I don't see anything. 631 00:24:31,887 --> 00:24:33,805 Well, are you looking? 632 00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:36,140 - Of course I'm looking. - I don't know, Mom. 633 00:24:36,141 --> 00:24:37,725 You think I'd still be running if I saw it? 634 00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:39,185 - Okay, don't be sassy. - Wait, down there. 635 00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:40,395 It's down there. Look, look, look. 636 00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:42,480 There it is, God, finally. 637 00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:43,690 Come on. 638 00:24:43,691 --> 00:24:45,192 Okay, ready? 639 00:24:47,069 --> 00:24:48,486 This will be it. This will be the one. 640 00:24:48,487 --> 00:24:50,154 - This will be the one. - This is it. 641 00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:52,073 - This will be the one, okay. - Okay, Detour. 642 00:24:52,074 --> 00:24:53,908 All right, break or dance? 643 00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:56,077 Break--enter a room filled with 10,000 Mexican ceramics 644 00:24:56,078 --> 00:24:57,286 and smash them on the floor until you 645 00:24:57,287 --> 00:24:58,997 find one containing a clue. 646 00:24:58,998 --> 00:25:01,290 Dance--put traditional clown makeup on each other 647 00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,292 then learn a clowning dance from a demonstration. 648 00:25:03,293 --> 00:25:04,794 Once you successfully complete the dance 649 00:25:04,795 --> 00:25:06,045 to your judge's satisfaction, 650 00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:07,296 you will receive your next clue. 651 00:25:07,297 --> 00:25:08,715 - Okay. Okay. - Okay. 652 00:25:08,716 --> 00:25:10,133 I think we should do the pottery. 653 00:25:10,134 --> 00:25:12,010 What? 654 00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:13,553 I mean, that's--it's simple, something any idiot can do. 655 00:25:13,554 --> 00:25:14,721 - Why are you gesturing at me? - I'm not. 656 00:25:14,722 --> 00:25:16,139 I'm gesticulating. I'm Italian. 657 00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:17,724 You're not Italian. No. 658 00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:19,142 Mom, that'll take forever. 659 00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:20,393 - We are already coming in last. - I know. 660 00:25:20,394 --> 00:25:21,978 We've got to make up time. 661 00:25:21,979 --> 00:25:23,271 If we get the clown dance on the first try, 662 00:25:23,272 --> 00:25:24,689 we can pass somebody. 663 00:25:24,690 --> 00:25:26,107 We're not gonna get it on the first try. 664 00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:27,942 - Why? Let's just try. - We're just not. 665 00:25:27,943 --> 00:25:29,318 We're--look, look at-- 666 00:25:29,319 --> 00:25:30,778 I'm not gonna put on clown makeup 667 00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:32,530 and do a silly little dance with you. 668 00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:36,951 I--I will look stupid. 669 00:25:36,952 --> 00:25:39,287 No, you're worried that I'm gonna look stupid. 670 00:25:39,288 --> 00:25:41,914 You think I'm going to embarrass myself, don't you? 671 00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:43,583 Well, yes, I do. I do. 672 00:25:43,584 --> 00:25:45,460 I don't think you're gonna learn a clowning routine. 673 00:25:45,461 --> 00:25:47,754 And I don't think that you were a milkmaid in a past life. 674 00:25:47,755 --> 00:25:49,338 - Okay? - A princess... 675 00:25:49,339 --> 00:25:52,550 - There it is. - Who chose to be a milkmaid. 676 00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:53,760 What about your leg? 677 00:25:53,761 --> 00:25:54,886 You cannot dance with that ankle. 678 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:56,804 What are you talking about? 679 00:25:56,805 --> 00:25:58,639 I just got that steroid shot from the Mexican street doctor. 680 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,559 My tits itch, but my ankle is feeling great. 681 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,352 Do you want a chance at beating that girl? 682 00:26:03,353 --> 00:26:04,937 - Yes. Yes. - Do you? 683 00:26:04,938 --> 00:26:06,022 Well, we're not gonna do it standing around 684 00:26:06,023 --> 00:26:07,607 smashing pottery for hours. 685 00:26:07,608 --> 00:26:09,108 Yeah, well, think about Grandma's teapot. 686 00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:10,443 You were pretty good about breaking that. 687 00:26:10,444 --> 00:26:12,154 Shut up about Grandma's teapot. 688 00:26:14,656 --> 00:26:15,949 Let's go. 689 00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:23,372 And Charlie, and Charlie, 690 00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:25,666 and Chaplin, and Chaplin, and body roll. 691 00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:27,668 - You know how. - Well, I don't know. 692 00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:29,462 Hold on a second. You gotta be a clown. 693 00:26:29,463 --> 00:26:31,714 Do you look--how's this? 694 00:26:31,715 --> 00:26:33,091 Oh, finally. 695 00:26:33,092 --> 00:26:34,592 Took us like, eight tries, y'all. 696 00:26:34,593 --> 00:26:35,802 It's hard. Good luck. 697 00:26:35,803 --> 00:26:37,512 Roll, down, up. 698 00:26:37,513 --> 00:26:38,971 Hi, we're so fun and nice. Let's go. We're done. 699 00:26:38,972 --> 00:26:40,765 Okay, let's get it. That was great. 700 00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:41,974 - That was great. - Thank you, señor. 701 00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:43,643 What? That was so fast. Come on. 702 00:26:43,644 --> 00:26:46,270 We gotta--you, we'll take you. Just do it. 703 00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:47,605 Oh, God. This is-- 704 00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:52,568 Uno, dos, tes, boom, ta, ocho. 705 00:26:52,569 --> 00:26:54,445 - Okay. - We got the clue! 706 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:55,738 We got the clue! 707 00:26:55,739 --> 00:26:57,532 - Oh, that was so much fun. - What? 708 00:26:57,533 --> 00:26:59,200 The judges were like, getting emotional watching us. 709 00:26:59,201 --> 00:27:01,452 - It was really sweet to see. - Done already? 710 00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:03,287 - Mom, we gotta go. We gotta go. - What? 711 00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:04,789 - We gotta go. - We don't know the dance. 712 00:27:04,790 --> 00:27:06,415 Well, we just have to try. 713 00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:07,834 - We can do it one more time. - Listen to me. 714 00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:09,627 - We are in last place. - I know that. 715 00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,087 If we can get this on the first try, we have a shot. 716 00:27:11,088 --> 00:27:13,506 Mom, look at me. Let me try, please. 717 00:27:13,507 --> 00:27:15,300 Let's go, go, go, go! 718 00:27:24,101 --> 00:27:25,351 Sorry, I--I didn't throw it. I didn't throw it. 719 00:27:25,352 --> 00:27:26,727 That's my bad. That's my bad. 720 00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:28,063 - All right. - Go again. Go again. 721 00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:34,527 It's the--I um, I did the wrong foot. 722 00:27:34,528 --> 00:27:36,112 - We're good, yeah. Yeah. - You got it? 723 00:27:36,113 --> 00:27:37,572 - You know where you went wrong? - Yeah, yeah. 724 00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:38,615 Okay. 725 00:27:42,369 --> 00:27:43,995 Why? I kicked it on four! 726 00:27:43,996 --> 00:27:45,413 I kicked it on four. 727 00:27:45,414 --> 00:27:46,414 She kicked it on four. That--I saw it. 728 00:27:46,415 --> 00:27:47,874 Start over. Start over. 729 00:27:47,875 --> 00:27:49,168 Go, quick. 730 00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:54,046 - Can I help? - I've--I've got it. 731 00:27:54,047 --> 00:27:55,465 I've got it. 732 00:27:56,717 --> 00:27:58,635 Stop! 733 00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:05,391 Stop! 734 00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:06,976 No! Oh, shit. Fuck. 735 00:28:06,977 --> 00:28:09,061 Oh! 736 00:28:09,062 --> 00:28:10,355 Come on! 737 00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:20,449 It's okay. 738 00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:34,587 What? 739 00:28:34,588 --> 00:28:37,048 No, I really thought I got it that time. 740 00:28:37,049 --> 00:28:38,257 - Felt good to me. - What was it? 741 00:28:38,258 --> 00:28:39,550 Deborah and DJ? 742 00:28:39,551 --> 00:28:40,885 No, Phil, no. 743 00:28:40,886 --> 00:28:42,178 No, no, no, no! Not Phil. 744 00:28:42,179 --> 00:28:43,429 - No Phil, come on. - Oh, oh, honey. 745 00:28:43,430 --> 00:28:45,389 - No, no. No. - Shh, shh. 746 00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:47,850 Come on. Oh, come on. 747 00:28:47,851 --> 00:28:49,644 Obviously, I'm here for a reason. 748 00:28:49,645 --> 00:28:51,187 Ah! 749 00:28:51,188 --> 00:28:52,772 I know it's been a hard couple of days, 750 00:28:52,773 --> 00:28:54,565 and DJ, you've had your injury, 751 00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:56,192 and then you've been struggling with this 752 00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:57,944 - clown challenge and-- - I mean, a little bit. 753 00:28:57,945 --> 00:29:00,780 - You've been here four hours. - I know. 754 00:29:00,781 --> 00:29:02,531 And all the other teams have checked in to the Pit Stop. 755 00:29:02,532 --> 00:29:04,075 Oh. 756 00:29:04,076 --> 00:29:05,868 Deborah and DJ, I'm really sorry to tell you 757 00:29:05,869 --> 00:29:08,956 that you've been eliminated from the race. 758 00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:13,709 We didn't do it. 759 00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:15,836 But you know what we didn't do, actually, Phil? 760 00:29:15,837 --> 00:29:17,129 We didn't quit. 761 00:29:17,130 --> 00:29:18,673 So you can hold your head high. 762 00:29:18,674 --> 00:29:19,799 - Yeah. - You gave it everything. 763 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:21,300 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah? 764 00:29:21,301 --> 00:29:22,718 I know you're upset, but are you pleased 765 00:29:22,719 --> 00:29:24,762 you came on "The Amazing Race"? 766 00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:27,807 It's the best thing that I've ever done in my whole life. 767 00:29:27,808 --> 00:29:29,308 Honestly, Phil, this race, it challenges 768 00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:31,602 every single part of you. 769 00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,145 That's what I wanted. 770 00:29:33,146 --> 00:29:35,815 - You know, I got to milk a goat. - Yeah. 771 00:29:35,816 --> 00:29:39,860 I got to see two different cities in Mexico. 772 00:29:39,861 --> 00:29:41,779 But most of all, I-- 773 00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:45,366 I got to spend more time with my mom than I have in years. 774 00:29:45,367 --> 00:29:47,910 And that's really all I wanted. 775 00:29:47,911 --> 00:29:50,037 You feel like you're really bonded with your mom? 776 00:29:50,038 --> 00:29:51,831 Yeah. 777 00:29:51,832 --> 00:29:53,916 It was beautiful. 778 00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:55,626 You feel the same way, Deborah? 779 00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:59,046 Yeah, same. 780 00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:01,674 Um, Phil, can I ask a favor? 781 00:30:01,675 --> 00:30:03,509 I can't get you back on the race. 782 00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:05,511 No, no, no, I understand. We're eliminated. 783 00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:08,431 But if I could just take one more crack at this dance, 784 00:30:08,432 --> 00:30:09,890 - I know I can nail it. - Are you serious? 785 00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:11,058 I'm serious. 786 00:30:11,059 --> 00:30:12,852 We got so close this last time. 787 00:30:12,853 --> 00:30:14,603 I don't know if you were watching, but we got so close, 788 00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:15,813 - didn't we? - We did. We did. 789 00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:17,189 Yeah, absolutely. 790 00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:19,775 I mean, give it another shot. 791 00:30:19,776 --> 00:30:23,321 Actually, Mom, this one's for us. 792 00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:25,281 - Okay? - Okay. 793 00:30:25,282 --> 00:30:26,991 Okay, we can do this. We can get through it. 794 00:30:26,992 --> 00:30:28,577 We could do this. 795 00:30:31,747 --> 00:30:33,582 Okay. 796 00:30:38,295 --> 00:30:39,378 Oh, fuck me. 797 00:30:39,379 --> 00:30:40,671 Fuck! Shit. 798 00:30:40,672 --> 00:30:42,006 Just forget it. Just fuck it. 799 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:43,424 You know what? I don't even care. 800 00:30:43,425 --> 00:30:46,969 I never cared. I don't care, Phil. 801 00:30:46,970 --> 00:30:48,888 Stop fucking filming me. It's done. 802 00:30:48,889 --> 00:30:50,765 It's over. 803 00:30:50,766 --> 00:30:51,933 No! 804 00:31:01,068 --> 00:31:03,569 Aw. 805 00:31:03,570 --> 00:31:04,945 Yeah. 806 00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:07,782 Oh, my. 807 00:31:07,783 --> 00:31:11,535 Oh, they're just how I remember them. 808 00:31:11,536 --> 00:31:13,496 Good. 809 00:31:13,497 --> 00:31:15,790 I can feel her. 810 00:31:15,791 --> 00:31:17,708 I can feel Mommy in the pepper shaker. 811 00:31:17,709 --> 00:31:20,294 Oh, she's in there. 812 00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:21,796 Oh, thank you, Ava. 813 00:31:21,797 --> 00:31:24,215 Thank you so much. 814 00:31:24,216 --> 00:31:26,258 But how did you convince her? 815 00:31:26,259 --> 00:31:28,803 She doesn't know. 816 00:31:28,804 --> 00:31:30,721 I stole them. 817 00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:32,014 I don't know what Deborah's gonna do 818 00:31:32,015 --> 00:31:33,391 when she realizes you stole them. 819 00:31:33,392 --> 00:31:35,851 I don't wanna know. 820 00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:39,688 Yeah, physical probably. 821 00:31:39,689 --> 00:31:42,608 You must really, really want those rights. 822 00:31:42,609 --> 00:31:46,153 Yeah, yeah I do. 823 00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:47,488 So, do we have a deal? 824 00:31:47,489 --> 00:31:50,242 Yes, yes, you've earned them. 825 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:55,454 I'll have my lawyer call Jimmy in the morning. 826 00:31:55,455 --> 00:31:58,541 Welcome home, guys. 827 00:31:58,542 --> 00:32:00,210 Aw. 828 00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:10,761 Now boarding group one. 829 00:32:10,762 --> 00:32:12,388 Oh! 830 00:32:12,389 --> 00:32:15,599 Oh, I remember boarding groups. 831 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:16,976 Fun. 832 00:32:16,977 --> 00:32:18,727 They never let Aidan and me pre-board 833 00:32:18,728 --> 00:32:21,730 'cause they don't count MMA as military service. 834 00:32:21,731 --> 00:32:22,899 Fucking bullshit. 835 00:32:25,861 --> 00:32:27,403 I'm sorry we lost. 836 00:32:27,404 --> 00:32:29,405 It's my fault. 837 00:32:29,406 --> 00:32:31,282 If you had done the Roadblocks, we would have won. 838 00:32:31,283 --> 00:32:33,909 No, you're kind of good at everything. 839 00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:35,202 And it's super annoying. 840 00:32:35,203 --> 00:32:37,288 No, that's not true. 841 00:32:37,289 --> 00:32:41,626 I've never been good at failing and moving on. 842 00:32:44,004 --> 00:32:45,754 I'm proud of you. 843 00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:48,507 No, you let things roll off your back. 844 00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:51,135 During this race, you just threw yourself into everything. 845 00:32:51,136 --> 00:32:52,761 You didn't even care how you looked. 846 00:32:52,762 --> 00:32:54,221 Oh, thanks so much, Mom. 847 00:32:54,222 --> 00:32:56,682 No, no, that's good. 848 00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:57,726 That's good. 849 00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:02,646 You're tougher than me. 850 00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:04,648 You are. 851 00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:08,694 I mean, I've always cared too much about what people think, 852 00:33:08,695 --> 00:33:11,030 'cause I know how hard it is when people make fun of you 853 00:33:11,031 --> 00:33:15,784 or call you crazy 854 00:33:15,785 --> 00:33:17,453 like they're doing to me right now. 855 00:33:17,454 --> 00:33:18,497 Yes. 856 00:33:21,124 --> 00:33:23,792 I think that's why I tried to protect you from all that 857 00:33:23,793 --> 00:33:27,296 and why I didn't let you try trapeze or, you know, 858 00:33:27,297 --> 00:33:30,925 release your reggae album or-- 859 00:33:30,926 --> 00:33:32,635 Go on QVC? 860 00:33:32,636 --> 00:33:35,304 Yes. 861 00:33:35,305 --> 00:33:38,390 I over-corrected. 862 00:33:38,391 --> 00:33:40,142 I didn't let you try enough, 863 00:33:40,143 --> 00:33:42,395 'cause you could have handled it. 864 00:33:47,192 --> 00:33:50,444 You're right--you do care what the world thinks. 865 00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:54,240 But I've only ever cared what one person thinks. 866 00:33:54,241 --> 00:33:56,492 Who? 867 00:33:56,493 --> 00:33:57,827 Phil. 868 00:34:06,336 --> 00:34:08,170 No, no, no, no, no. Tell me again. 869 00:34:08,171 --> 00:34:09,463 Tell me again. 870 00:34:09,464 --> 00:34:11,507 She really said, I can feel Mommy? 871 00:34:11,508 --> 00:34:13,509 Stop laughing. 872 00:34:13,510 --> 00:34:14,927 I feel really bad. 873 00:34:14,928 --> 00:34:16,554 She cried. 874 00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:18,764 This is the best. 875 00:34:18,765 --> 00:34:21,225 - It's not funny. - Oh, my God. 876 00:34:21,226 --> 00:34:23,519 Well, you are an evil bitch. 877 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,355 I've never felt closer to you. 878 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,608 Well, let's just hope I make you proud 879 00:34:29,609 --> 00:34:32,403 and make a good show so it was worth it. 880 00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:34,280 Even if you don't, 881 00:34:34,281 --> 00:34:36,198 recently, I have warmed up to the value 882 00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:39,368 of falling flat on your face and embarrassing yourself. 883 00:34:39,369 --> 00:34:41,287 Okay, maybe just say you're gonna do great. 884 00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:42,830 Oh, you're gonna do great. 885 00:34:42,831 --> 00:34:44,540 Thank you. 886 00:34:44,541 --> 00:34:45,958 God. 887 00:34:45,959 --> 00:34:49,878 And live in five, four, three, two, one. 888 00:34:49,879 --> 00:34:51,672 Welcome back, folks. 889 00:34:51,673 --> 00:34:54,675 Okay, I am thrilled because we have 890 00:34:54,676 --> 00:34:58,429 an amazing new designer here with us today. 891 00:34:58,430 --> 00:35:02,766 Please welcome Deborah Junior Vance! 892 00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:07,187 Okay, how many times has your baby reached for your earrings 893 00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:09,982 and almost pulled your entire ear clean off your skull? 894 00:35:09,983 --> 00:35:11,442 So many. 895 00:35:11,443 --> 00:35:12,818 Well, it's never gonna happen again. 896 00:35:12,819 --> 00:35:14,445 - Thank goodness. - Do you wanna know why? 897 00:35:14,446 --> 00:35:16,155 Detachables. 898 00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:18,073 - Oh, my God. - Because they detach. 899 00:35:18,074 --> 00:35:19,825 Ah, look at them. 900 00:35:19,826 --> 00:35:21,535 That's right, no more bloody lobes. 901 00:35:21,536 --> 00:35:23,245 Moms get it. 902 00:35:23,246 --> 00:35:24,622 Amazing. 903 00:35:24,623 --> 00:35:26,248 Wow, these are flying off the shelves. 904 00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:27,625 They are going fast. 905 00:35:27,626 --> 00:35:29,126 So if you want your own DJewelry, 906 00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:30,878 you better call in now. 907 00:35:30,879 --> 00:35:33,757 Oh, and I think we're getting a call right now...